I didn’t expect it. We decided sort of last minute to send our youngest to preschool in September of 2019. Our older kids did 2 mornings of preschool a week. We signed Evangeline up for a 4 afternoon a week program. Suddenly, I had time. For a few hours four days a week, I was alone.
My husband quickly signed me up to help him at his office, but I still was without kids on a regular basis. I could listen to my music loudly without constant talking. I could run a quick errand ALONE without arranging for someone else to watch the kids. I could think. I have been a work from home or stay at home mother for ten years now, and I have really missed these freedoms that I previously took for granted. I really love my kids, but I also love my freedom and independence. I had not experienced regularly scheduled time with no kids in ten years.
It. Was. Amazing. I relished those moments. My parched, weary soul was being rehydrated little bit by little bit.
Then the lockdown. With so little warning, I lost it all. I thought I would have time to mentally prepare for summer and the craziness that it is. I had no time. It was all the kids, all the time. No dropping the kids off with grandma to run a quick errand. Nothing.
After a few weeks passed, I asked my husband if I could run to get a Starbucks on a Saturday. A couple weeks later, I did it again. And I ate lunch alone in my car. And I picked up a few essentials (and a few non-essentials) at Target. Those couple of hours refreshed my soul more than I expected.
I don’t know what the next months hold. I know the unexpected can be challenging and devastating. It can also be beautiful and amazing. I know that He gives and takes away, and I trust that what He plans to give and take away is for my good and His glory. A lot has been taken away from us in the past few months. Much has also been given to us if we look closely and see clearly.
If you are struggling in this season, please don’t hesitate to email me here. I will be there for you.