This week, Facebook memories have reminded me that the older kids were at camp a year ago. Evie and I were having fun together, and Matt was sick on the couch. That wouldn’t be particularly memorable if I didn’t know what was coming next.
Matt had committed to play in the Waverly Worship Band for Revibe a year ago, and he was too sick to make the last practice. This year, I am playing piano in the same band, and our last practice was last night. Memories are swirling in my mind as I remember the days when I was not aware of the gravity of his illness.
As I recall the events of a year ago, I feel like I was floating through the days, not really, fully there but just floating above, watching it all happen. I had to take care of basic things like finding people to watch the kids so I could be at the hospital. So many friends and church family stepped in and fed us, took care of our yard work. I don’t know how many people can say their pastor has mowed their lawn, but we can. That’s just a tiny yet huge way we were loved and carried through that season.
I think if I was floating above the circumstances, it’s because of the hundreds of prayers sent up that carried me. I will never forget dropping off my kids with my friend Steph on Monday morning, not know what I would find when I entered Matt’s room that day. She held me and prayed with me, and it still fills me with peace as I remember that simple moment in her house that stands out to me so beautifully.
If I seem aloof this week, my mind really is somewhere else. God provides so well for His children. It’s been a challenging year for our family, and I end almost every night with this song on the TV before I go to bed.
“If He dresses the lilies // with beauty and splendor // how much more will He clothe you // how much more will He clothe you // if He watches over // every sparrow // how much more does He love you // how much more does He love you…Jireh, You are enough // Jireh, You are enough // and I will be content in every circumstance // Jireh, You are enough”
He is enough. He was enough for me last year. He is enough for us now. He is enough.